I’m Not There Anymore

The crushing weight of terror,
The quickly heaving chest,
The bitter tears,
The endless rage,
The lack of control,
The lack of function,
The inability to love myself fully,
The confusion of my yelling,
The triggered trauma,
The past abuse,
The sorrow inside me,
The suffocating truth. 

I am not there anymore. 

As I sit at the window
Watching the rain drip down from the roof,
I know that I am safe,
That I am loved,
That I am whole,
That I am here
Because I am not there anymore.